The Final Shareholder Report: A Satirical RPG of Corporate Crisis Management

THE FINAL SHAREHOLDER REPORT

A role-playing game of corporate crisis management, PR spin, and historical revisionism.

Congratulations! You have been entrusted with the highest duty of any corporate entity: protecting shareholder confidence in the wake of catastrophic failure.

In The Final Shareholder Report (FSR), you and your fellow executives will navigate the delicate art of corporate damage control, refining the narrative, avoiding blame, and ensuring that history reflects only the most positive aspects of your performance.

HOW IT WORKS:
Five-phase crisis management framework – spin the disaster, reframe the facts, assign blame, and publish a shareholder report.
AI-powered PR manipulation – feed crisis details into ChatGPT or Claude to generate the official “approved narrative.”
Minimal setup – all you need is a PDF and an AI chatbot to start rewriting history.
Includes The Auditor’s Handbook – a secret compliance supplement that was never meant to be seen.
Three pre-written case studies – from self-aware vending machines to quantum finance collapses.

The truth is what we say it is. If it’s in the shareholder report, it happened. If it’s missing? It never existed.

DOWNLOAD INCLUDES:
Rules & Scenarios Handbook
The Auditor’s Handbook (CONFIDENTIAL)
Case Study Modules
The Blame Deck

Designed for solo or group play. Perfect for lovers of corporate horror, tabletop RPGs, and existential dread.

Play it for satire. Play it for performance art. Play it to see how easy it is to rewrite the past.

“All art is training data.” – Holly Herndon
“All satire is future policy.” – The Final Shareholder Report (probably)
“I wish I could laugh, but that joke isn't funny....” – S. Morrissey